I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
