i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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