you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
