that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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