Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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