Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
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