Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
