your parents love me but you hate me
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
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