this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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