we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish I only lived at night.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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