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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  so he'll probably take me somewhere nice

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating

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• (518): View more from New York

  Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-

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• (714): View more from California

  I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST

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• (347): View more from New York

  Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.

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