oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
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I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.