you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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