When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
