clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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