Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
