doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
