And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
