I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
