If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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