hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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