hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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