I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize