Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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