I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
