i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
