And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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