At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
