And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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