this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
