when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
