I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
