so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
