you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
