Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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