It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
