I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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