4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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