Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
