i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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