It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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