come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
