If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
