she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
