...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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