just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
