oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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