And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
