Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
