Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
