Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize