This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
