i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
