WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
