Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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