im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize