my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
