I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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