You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
