Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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