Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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