singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
