She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's never too late to be topless.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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