bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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