Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
