I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
