still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
