you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
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