tell your sister to shave her snatch
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
