your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
