If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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